Wednesday, September 16, 2015

Bully S/R second redo Drake

Bully Summary and Response Second Redo
Drake H. and LinZi F.
September 13, 2015


Summary

Summary:
  • Topic sentence: title, author, strong verb, main idea
The movie “Bully” by Lee Hirsch identifies the impact on how people view themselves and the world.

  • Supporting ideas and explanations to prove main ideas
The victims in “Bully” were suicidal and depressed because  their normal day would include being physically and verbally abused. The world to them was not fair but they knew nothing else than abuse to they endured it. The reason that they had these problems with depression and suicide was because they did not understand why they should live. Life for them was hell, so why endure it?

  • Concluding sentence: restate main idea
As shown in “Bully” by Hirsch, bullying has an impact on what people think of other life and other people.

Response

  • Topic sentence: title, author, strong verb,correctly portrays/ incorrectly portrays___________ because ___________ .
The movie “Bully” by Lee Hirsch correctly shows that bullying is a problem in schools because it has severe psychological and sometimes physical damage on kids and needs to be stopped.

  • Claim 1:Kids are bullied because they are too gentle and are afraid to retaliate.
    • Set-up
Kids endure it because they believe that they can be better than their aggressors. Alex’s father talked about how Alex overflowed with love. Alex could never hurt anyone else the way that they hurt him. Alex was always striving to be better than the bullies.

    • Evidence: Lead-in  “ quotation” (        )
Mr. Libby recounts Alex saying, “I want to be the bigger man. I want to be better than them.” (Hirsch).
    • Explanation of quotation to prove claim: explain quote, connect to claim
Alex was bullied daily. When people saw it happen and started to go after them to get revenge, Alex stopped them. He demonstrated how much character he had by telling them, “Don't be like them. Be better.” Alex did not allow jealousy, betrayal, pride, prejudice,  power, gender, race, and revenge to rule his choices. Alex did not retaliate because he possessed more character than the bullies. If Alex were one of the boys on the island in Lord of the Flies, he would be like one of the littuns that Roger abused because he was so innocent and had no power.

  • Counterclaim 1: However, ....
However, kids are bullied because they are afraid to stand up to their aggressors, not because they are to gentle.
    • Set-up
Not everyone is born with large amounts of courage, but everyone should stand up for what they believe in. Alex convinced himself that the kids were just “messing around and having fun”. His father explained to him that he needs to stand up for himself instead of letting them bully him. Alex did not heed his father’s advice because he was not convinced and knew no better.
    • Evidence: Lead-in  “ quotation” (       )
Mr. Libby confronted Alex about being bullied and he said, “Stand up for yourself because if not people start seeing you as a punching bag and no one respects a punching bag” (Mr. Libby)

    • Explanation of quotation to prove counterclaim: explain quote, connect to claim
Alex never had the courage to stand up to the bullies. Alex has been bullied almost every day of his life he has gone to school so he thinks that it is normal. Everyone that knows Alex takes advantage of him. It was already too late for Alex by the time he received his father’s advice because he had been a punching bag since day one and everyone punched him. Everyone needs to stand up for themselves and demand respect so that they are not victimized.

  • What are the strengths/ flaws of this argument? (use rebuttal progression language)
Rebuttal progression:


1st step: Describe a "naive response" or an opposing interpretation of your position. A "naive view" is a view that you personally disagree with or a view that misses something important. But don't use the word "naive." Say something like…
I used to think that...
A common view is that…
At first glance...
Many think that....
X argues that...
Critics of ____ propose…
A common view of bullying is that many kids have a choice over whether or not they are bullied and can stand up to their aggressors.

2nd step: Briefly explain the logic or reasoning of this "naive view." Answer the question, "Why would someone think this way? Why would they find their answer or solution logical or reasonable?" Why did I think this way? Say something like...
We cannot deny that...
This way of making sense of the position makes a degree of sense [why?]
This position seems reasonable [why?]
I can understand why someone might interpret X in this way [explain how so]
These conclusions seem compelling [why?]
This seems reasonable because people do need to stand up for themselves. Everyone should have courage to stand up for what they believe in.

3rd step: Provide a transition that indicates that you are going to contrast this "naive view." Say something like...
However...
But it's more complicated than that...
This interpretation is helpful, but it misses an important point...
This interpretation raises a fundamental question...
While this view seems plausible/reasonable at first glance, we should look closer…
However, it’s more complicated than that because people don’t always have a choice. Sometimes there is nothing the victim can do except turn the other cheek. People are bullied because they are easily made victims. Some people are born very tough and others are born gentle, and kind. The bullies are the tough kids who have been victimized by someone else so they take it out on the innocent gentle kids. The only difference is that they react in a different way.

  • Concluding sentence: restate main idea
“Bully” by Hirsch acknowledges that bullying is wrong and people should stand up to people who are bullies because the victim does not have a say in the matter.

Strong Verb List:
Tells, explains, compares, describes, gives, presents, lists, shows, defines, demonstrates, acknowledges, evaluates, classifies, adds, explores, confuses, advises, expresses, defends, asserts, features, depicts, assures, furnishes, encourages, blames, identifies, entertains, confirms, names, illustrates, confronts, offends, invites, considers, offers, judges, contrasts, predicts, misjudges, critiques, proposes, praises, demonstrates, provides, recommends, denounces, traces, simplifies, discourages, answers, solves, endorses, asks, suggests, entices, captures, supports, enumerates, classifies, teaches.

1 comment:

  1. Punctuate title correctly.

    Citation incorrect in your counterclaim

    Rebuttal is hard to understand as you have so much extraneous pieces-

    18/20

    ReplyDelete