Sunday, September 13, 2015

Bully S/R redo Drake

Bully Summary and Response Redo
Drake H. and LinZi F.
September 13, 2015


  • Topic sentence: title, author, strong verb, main idea
The movie “Bully” by Lee Hirsch identifies the impact on how people view themselves and the world.

  • Supporting ideas and explanations to prove main ideas
The victims in “Bully” were suicidal and depressed because  their normal day would include being physically and verbally abused. The world to them was not fair but they knew nothing else than abuse to they endured it. The reason that they had these problems with depression and suicide was because they did not understand why they should live. Life for them was hell, so why endure it?

  • Concluding sentence: restate main idea
Bullying has an impact on what people think of other life and other people.


  • Topic sentence: title, author, strong verb,correctly portrays/ incorrectly portrays___________ because ___________ .
The movie “Bully” by Lee Hirsch correctly identifies that bullying is a problem in schools.

  • Claim 1:
    • Set-up
Kids are bullied because they are too kind and loving to retaliate. They endure it because they believe that they can be better than their aggressors.

    • Evidence: Lead-in  “ quotation” (        )
Alex Libby’s dad recounts Alex saying, “I want to be the bigger man” (Hirsch).
    • Explanation of quotation to prove claim: explain quote, connect to claim
Alex’s father is talking about how Alex overflowed with love. He could never hurt anyone else the way that they hurt him. Alex was always striving to be better than the bullies. Humans are left with a choice. They can choose to be scum or they can choose to do the right thing. Alex did not allow jealousy, betrayal, pride, prejudice,  power, gender, race, and revenge to rule his choices. Everyone should strive to do the same.

  • Counterclaim 1: However, ....
However, kids are bullied because they are afraid to stand up to their aggressors.
    • Set-up
Not everyone is born with large amounts of courage, but everyone should stand up for what they believe in.
    • Evidence: Lead-in  “ quotation” (       )
Mr. Libby was talking to Alex about being bullied and he said, “Stand up for yourself because if not people start seeing you as a punching bag and no one respects a punching bag” (Mr. Libby)

    • Explanation of quotation to prove counterclaim: explain quote, connect to claim
Alex convinces himself that the kids are just “messing around and having fun”. His father explains to him that he needs to stand up for himself instead of letting them bully him. Alex never had the courage to stand up to the bullies. He knows nothing other than being bullied so he thinks that it is normal. Everyone needs to stand up for themselves and demand respect so that they are not victimized.

  • What are the strengths/ flaws of this argument? (use rebuttal progression language)
  • Concluding sentence: restate main idea
Although people should stand up to other people when they are bullied they do not always have a choice. That is where the people around the bully and the bullied person need to step in to stop the bullying. It is not just the responsibility of the person being bullied to stop the bully.

Strong Verb List:
Tells, explains, compares, describes, gives, presents, lists, shows, defines, demonstrates, acknowledges, evaluates, classifies, adds, explores, confuses, advises, expresses, defends, asserts, features, depicts, assures, furnishes, encourages, blames, identifies, entertains, confirms, names, illustrates, confronts, offends, invites, considers, offers, judges, contrasts, predicts, misjudges, critiques, proposes, praises, demonstrates, provides, recommends, denounces, traces, simplifies, discourages, answers, solves, endorses, asks, suggests, entices, captures, supports, enumerates, classifies, teaches.

Rebuttal progression:

1st step: Describe a "naive response" or an opposing interpretation of your position. A "naive view" is a view that you personally disagree with or a view that misses something important. But don't use the word "naive." Say something like…
I used to think that...
A common view is that…
At first glance...
Many think that....
X argues that...
Critics of ____ propose…

A common view of bullying is that many kids have a choice over whether or not they are bullied and can stand up to their aggressors.

2nd step: Briefly explain the logic or reasoning of this "naive view." Answer the question, "Why would someone think this way? Why would they find their answer or solution logical or reasonable?" Why did I think this way? Say something like...
We cannot deny that...
This way of making sense of the position makes a degree of sense [why?]
This position seems reasonable [why?]
I can understand why someone might interpret X in this way [explain how so]
These conclusions seem compelling [why?]

This seems reasonable because people do need to stand up for themselves. Everyone should have courage to stand up for what they believe in.

3rd step: Provide a transition that indicates that you are going to contrast this "naive view." Say something like...
But it's more complicated than that...
This interpretation is helpful, but it misses an important point...
This interpretation raises a fundamental question...
While this view seems plausible/reasonable at first glance, we should look closer…

However, it’s more complicated than that because people don’t always have a choice. If it is one against 5 it is not fair. There is nothing they can do except turn the other cheek. They also might not retaliate because they believe that they can be better than the bullies.

1 comment:

  1. Good summary- more time spent on conclusion.( tie back to title and author). It should also be one sentence. Make sure to punctuate title correctly.

    Your response topic sentence does not contain a why- add this. Spend more time on setting up situation of quotations . Cite your quotations correctly. Your claim/counterclaim quotation explanations need more development. . Also, make sure to use strong verbs. Push forward thinking in your rebuttal. Use the rebuttal progression model to help you in this process. Put your rebuttal into your outline up top.

    Concluding sentence: It should also be one sentence. It should connect back to the title and author.